Today is a very difficult day for you. While I get to hug and squeeze our son and make all his birthday dreams come true.....you stare off into the foggy distance and wonder if he even remembers who you are. All I can say is that not only does he remember your name, but he remembers your face too. I can't speak on his behalf, but I believe he is on the road to forgiveness and healing and one day we will all sit in a room together and feel joy. Until that day know this.....I know that no matter how bad things went you never dreamed for your life to be this way. No mother wants to be without her child. And I believe that when we look past the alcohol, the abusive men and all the drugs there is a woman who desperately wants to feel that she has value and worth. There are two people who suffered loss the day your rights were terminated and I want you to know there isn't a day that passes that I don't remember your loss and the cost of adoption.
And while you may not recognize your little Dins Krjuckovs anymore, God is weaving a new part to the tapestry complete with a new name and a solid identity. Our little boy has found peace, he has found security and he has found love. And while it may seem like these "Americans" probably swooped in and saved him from a life of poverty, despair and drug abuse......something no one did for you...... Oh my sweet sweet Svetlana, it is this dear boy who has saved our lives. So while your spirit breaks and your mommy heart weeps today....know your boy.....our boy......is changing lives everywhere he goes...with just a simple smile. And I believe my favorite qualities about him, his tenderness and yes....even his smile...come from the one who brought him into this world. Today... you are remembered and when I smile at him....I am smiling at you. We are raising an amazing boy, aren't we?
Here are just some of the things he teaches me daily....